sortofaman | Meanwhile, elsewhere...

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Meanwhile, elsewhere...

There were more things to do on one's honeymoon than have sex or lie about, and while that would have been just fine, occasionally one needed to stretch one's legs. Which was why the Doctor, clad only in boxer briefs, and Chase, similarly less than clothed, were on the beach as the sun started to set, playing a rough and tumble rugby scrimmage.

There was no one else about to care about sand and dirt, and the beach was soft enough to make for decent landing. All in all, there was quite a bit of laughter and not so much fair play. But rules didn't really apply.

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"Don't pull that on me," the Doctor said, raising his hand so that the ring flashed in the sunset. "Doesn't work, never did."

Well, that was definitely a new guilt trip to be had and Chase sighed slightly, lying down on his back, staring up at the sky. "That's a very backhanded move, you know. And I notice you do it a lot," he drawled. "I don't know anymore. That's all."

"Know anymore about what, being a doctor?" the Doctor asked, looking worried indeed. He thought he was allowed to use that kind of guilt trip, seeing as they had agreed not to lie to each other.

Chase rubbed his eyes with his clean hand, his own ring touching cool metal to his eyes, which he needed at the moment. "About being a psychiatrist," he said, hushed.

"Well," the Doctor said, "why the hell not?" He knew Chase had had doubts, but not this serious.

"Because the one patient I have tosses me out," he muttered, seething mildly. "And after the romp in Jurassic fucking Park, I've got more issues than most people who'll want to talk to me," he said, rolling his eyes at himself.

Some days, he really hated himself.

Right now was one of those times.

"Let's not worry about this, okay?" he pleaded.

"Pardon me," the Doctor said, not dropping any subject, "but your one patient, from what I've seen and heard of him elsewhere, can't decide if he wants to live in the Great War in his mind forever, or run from it with sex. You can't heal someone who doesn't want to be healed, for starters. And recognising problems is the best way to get towards them and help people later with the same issues."

Chase gave the Doctor a pleading look, exhaling deeply as he rubbed at his eyes. "Does that change that I'm not really ready to be a voice of reason to people who will need my help, in a fragile mental state? Not him, not you, not..." He took a deep breath, going back to eating his apple thoughtfully.

"It's just not the right time."

"Now you're making excuses," the Doctor said, brow firmly raised. "Then you keep studying and trying until you are ready. You know?"

Chase just gave up, giving a long and quiet sigh, giving the Doctor a pleading look, his own gambit. "Please don't make me?" he said softly.

The Doctor looked a bit stern, though. "I'm not going to make you," he said. "But I'm going to keep reminding you that I think you should carry on."

Chase gave a tiny sound of acknowledgment before he continued to just poke and chew at the apple, leaning forward over his knees. "What if I want to stay in my comfort zone? Why can't I?"

"Because you never would have married me if that was what you really wanted," the Doctor said.

Chase turned, enough to give the Doctor a long-suffering look before tossing the core to the side and straddling atop the Doctor. "Maybe I just really wanted that?" he pointed out. "Wanted you."

"Yeah, but you weren't blind to all that entails," the Doctor noted, trying to focus on the conversation.

Chase was running his fingers up and down the Doctor's arm, brushing his shoulders. "No," he agreed quietly. "I knew what I was getting into. You warned me enough." He eased off of the Doctor, giving him a worried look. "I can't deal with being a failure time and time again, I can't. I barely could in med school."

"The only times I screwed up after, I was either self-punished or House did it for me."

The Doctor wasn't buying it. "Rob...this is about doing something good, productive. What would you do if you didn't? And how would you punish yourself for giving it up? We both know you would."

His back was greatly curved as he sat there, hunched, staring out at the sea before him. "I don't know," he admitted. The Doctor was right, he just didn't know how it'd pan out just yet. "I don't..." He took a deep breath. "God, I'm petrified," he scoffed, laughing weakly.

The Doctor sat up behind him, put an arm around him and rested his chin on his shoulder. "I know," he said.

It was a reassuring touch, more than he expected and he closed his eyes before turning and wrapping his arms around the Doctor in an embrace, burying his face into the Doctor's neck, not saying a word. Just...sitting there.

Because sitting there was all right. Very all right. And the Doctor knew things would turn out fine, an honest real fine.

Chase eased back after a long moment, exhaling shakily as he fixed his shirt and his ring, his hair next, then his pants, rubbing his eyes. "I don't want to do this," he admitted. "It makes me feel like crap and I hate failing."

"I know," the Doctor said, "but at the risk of sounding like a motivational speaker, you can't succeed at all without giving a go. Maybe just...enjoy your holiday. Ease up on the studying when we get back."

Chase exhaled and nodded quickly, rubbing his eyes. "Okay," he agreed, still staring as the sun dipped into the horizon. "Okay, that sounds agreeable."

"Okay," the Doctor said, and pulled Chase a little closer and a little tighter.

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