for Jack (Sunday)

[sortofaman]

The skies could have been dark or sunlit, the truth was that the Doctor didn't know either way and didn't care. He was looking for Jack; he was looking for Jack because he hadn't seen him, didn't know if he knew, and he didn't really know if Jack would care.

But he needed to know either way. Because part of it Rob understood and part of it Jack would understand, and the two didn't quite mix together. And Rob was busy feeding Nate, and he had a moment or two to breathe if his chest would allow it.

That was all right. As long as he could find Jack, stepping through the snow, his own figure a lost man in a dark coat swirling just against the surface.

Comments

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"True. I'll just hang onto it for the next time we have a squid attack or the dinosaurs get out," Jack said. "How's Rob taking all this?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Like when the others have gone," the Doctor said, trying not to panic at the idea of protecting Nate from dinosaurs. "Certain I'll be next, or House, or someone else he cares about, not sure how we can all live like this."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Logan just told me on Christmas that he figured he'd be the next one I lost. Good thing we didn't make a bet on it. He'd be my bitch for another day, and this time I would make him run," Jack said, almost sedate as he spoke about the most unsettling things that normally took his legs out from beneath him.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Happy Christmas, let's be morbid?" The Doctor looked somewhat less than impressed. "I don't even want to know. You always do end up with the most positive people, Cap'n."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"He was trying to convince me that there's such a thing as fate. And destiny." Jack ducked his chin and licked his lips, debating what more to say. "It wasn't that morbid. Just proving a point. Maybe he's right. I haven't decided."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Maybe there is, but if so, what the hell do we think we can do about it?" the Doctor pointed out. "Free will or not, you live your life. At the least we think we're thinking independently. Knowing better doesn't do anything but make you never do anything at all."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

Jack simply shrugged. "He thinks there's got to be a reason for things. He's got faith in something...bigger than himself." He gave the Doctor a pointed look, the man before him being a point of reference for understanding Logan's thoughts. Jack had faith in so few things in the universe, but the things and people he believed in, he believed in with the whole of his being.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor gave Jack a bit of a look in reply. Being human meant he was even more uncomfortable with being anyone's touchstone, anyone's god, or point of reference. "So do I, but that doesn't mean there's always a reason on a definitive level. Merely players who go in and out at turns, Jack."

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"Are you calling me a player?" he quipped, a teasing twist to his grin that didn't quite gel with the light in his eyes. He was perfectly aware of what the Doctor thought and felt about the adherence Jack felt, but he couldn't, and wouldn't, change. He never doubted the Doctor, and he never would.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"If you are, so am I," the Doctor replied, looking back at him and resting his forehead against his. "So there."

He felt better, Sort of.

[captainjack.livejournal.com]

"So there," Jack replied gently, his hand coming to rest on the Doctor's shoulder. The man had told him once that he couldn't be everything to everyone. Maybe he was right and maybe he wasn't, but Jack could be this for him right now. A stone in the ocean, or something like that.