the sun and the moon and the stars (for Jane)

[sortofaman]

Night time, in an island October, and the Doctor was up on the roof of the compound, gazing up at the sky.

In perfect honesty, he usually tried not to look at the stars much, anymore. The restlessness that ensued wasn't pleasant for anyone, while it lasted, and he preferred to keep the peace when possible. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make, most of the time.

But he'd assigned his students reading and viewing about the moon landing (not faked, for fuck's sake, though what they'd found had been glossed over for the public), and had them do some impromptu writing about what they thought people at the time felt about space exploration--imagining that no one else from their world had been up there and now people had gone so far.

It was only fair to have a good look himself, even if he'd need a beer in the Hub before going home. He sat and dangled his legs over the edge of the building, arms bracing himself, and looked up, really looked up.

For a minute, he smiled.

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[sciencefact]

Most of her life Jane has spent with her eye turned toward the heavens. Frustrating though that is on the island, she's still habitual about it when the sky gets dark, and this is why she even noticed the pair of skinny legs hooked over the edge of the Compound roof. She squints, thinking maybe it's the Doctor up there, although it's difficult to tell exactly.

"Hello there!" she calls, hands on her hips and head tipped back.

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

The Doctor startled, for half a second, before catching himself on the edge of the roof ledge. There wasn't any real danger he would have fallen, but the fact of the too-human reaction was something it took time to get used to. Years of time.

He peered down through the darkness, spotting the face in the dappled light of the moon and the few bulbs that glowed outside the compound. "Oh, Jane, isn't it?" he asked, and smiled. "Good evening."

[sciencefact]

"Looking at the stars or just avoiding people?" Jane hesitates a moment and then shakes her head with a wrinkle of her nose. "Not that the two couldn't be combined, but if you'd rather I leave you alone, I can. There is a load of towels in the laundry room with my name on it."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Well, it's good to know where your towels are, but I'm not avoiding people," the Doctor reassured her. "I'm so not avoiding people; you'd know if I was avoiding people, because I'd be grumpy or hideously full of angst."

It was, frankly, incredibly true. He kicked his legs against the side of the building.

"Did you want to come up, or would you rather enjoy your fresh towels? Can't exactly blame you on the latter, I'm not soft and cuddly and warm like towels, though I am as useful as one."

[sciencefact]

"No way, I take looking at the stars over just about anything," Jane replies, and then holds up an index finger. "Hold on, I'll be up there in a minute."

When she makes her way across the rooftop and takes a seat beside the Doctor a moment later, she can't help but be filled with nostalgia. "I have spent so much time on rooftops," she admits as she leans back onto her palms. "Since I was a baby, even. My dad studied astrophysics, too. Sometimes I think the love is genetic."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"Even warm towels?" the Doctor asked, but Jane had already gone on into the compound. He waited for her, heels thudding softly against the concrete in a four-beat staccato rhythm, until he caught himself recognising the pattern. Fortunately, that was the moment Jane reappeared, and he put it out of his mind.

"It's possible that it's genetic," he answered. "Or at least the tendency is...but if you're raised to love something, then it's awfully hard not to love it. Fortunately, the stars are worth loving."

[sciencefact]

"I never feel more comfortable than when I'm looking at the night sky," says Jane, her gaze still firmly fixed upon it. "I think you're right, though. It's been part of my life as far back as I can remember. It feels like a tangible part of me."

She pauses, and then tips a look his way. "Do you ever feel like that?"

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"More than one'd think," said the Doctor. Something about the thought of it all hit him hard, caused an ache somewhere between his hearts. So he carried on gazing upwards, the moon and starlight just barely illuminating his face, until he trusted himself to turn back to look at her without being too overwrought.

"Though they never used to feel so distant. When somewhere is your home, you can't think of it as anything but comfortable, sensical. But from here, it's easy to remember how damn big it all is."

[sciencefact]

"Living in this place, being trapped here, is definitely a challenge." In dozens and possibly hundreds of little ways, like feeling so far removed from something that had defined you, or in having that thing suddenly different, unreliable. Their lives here could be so much worse, but Jane doesn't know how to put out the flame in herself that keeps her forever reaching back, reaching out, reaching anywhere else.

"I have these moments when I've hit the same wall so many times that I think maybe everyone else has the right idea, maybe I should get back down to earth more often and stop worrying about theories and data all the time. But I don't really know how to do that."

[sortofaman.livejournal.com]

"I've never been one for the whole 'power of positive thinking' bollocks, but I've found that things have been a lot easier when I don't think of it as trapped. Stuck, perhaps, but trapped...trapped implies being an animal, being caged. Stuck allows for experimentation and analysis. Semantics, yeah, but sometimes that's the sort of thing that helps keep you focused." The Doctor smiled with half his face, a quirk that admitted to the potential futility therein. "Or maybe I've just decided that to win the island game, I had to intentionally lose; take all I can, give nothing back, so to speak.

"But, bringing it back to the big picture, humanity needs people like you," he continued. "Because otherwise no one ends up looking outwards, and everything is stagnant. I know it sounds like a cliche, but without theories or dreams, how does anyone proceed?"